Filed under: Get Friendly
It’s super easy to be a douchebag.
If you work in creative strategy or planning your daily diet may encompasses exposure to this toxic pyramid:
You are not alone. (thanks to this post Getting Real. For Real which reminded me I probably should say this more often.)
If you’re feeling like this you understand the landscape that you work in very very well.
And as result you might get called ‘difficult’ or ‘unapproachable’ or ‘aggressive’.
It’s really hard not to give yourself permission to let that toxicity out.
But when people are coming to you for education and inspiration and insight how appropriate is frustration? How effective is is? How is it working for you?
Punching people in the face for not understanding is momentarily satisfying, sure. Do you really want to be that guy?
But again, you are not alone in struggling with this.
I am fiery. Shouty. The volume goes up to 11 when I get excited.
Which is why I find this to be pretty helpful this week (edited):
Feel the fire … don’t get burned.
Emphasise with words, not volume.
1. Feel the fire, but don’t get burned. If something really excites you or makes you angry, effectiveness lies in creating comfort. Share your exhilaration or ire with words, not volume.
2. Speak how you want to be spoken to. Doing so will set the tone for the entire conversation. If you start out with an attack, you could end up in a war. If you begin with kindness and clarity, you will have a much easier time.
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Get Shouty 
I want to print the “Your not crazy. You’re not a failure. You’re just trying to do something that matters” poster and tape it to the inside of my eyelids. But that would be weird.
Comment by mandi bateson April 19, 2011 @ 3:04 pmI loved that poster too!
Comment by katiechatfield April 19, 2011 @ 4:41 pm[…] the change management game: digital is new, and it’s unwieldily, and lots of people make it hard. And Gavin Heaton was kind enough to help me understand change is really about positive […]
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